He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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