Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
