Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
