found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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