I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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