hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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