i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
