i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
