So drunk its hurt
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize