If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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