i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It's blow job season.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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