absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
