Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
