So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize