You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
