reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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