Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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