I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
