no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
