Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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