Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
