two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Ketchup is God's man juice
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
