Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
