so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
No subtext here. People are naked.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
