every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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