Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
