Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
there's paper in my vomit.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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