I got chris browned last night
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
