You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize