Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
