I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
