hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
