I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize