Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
