And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
