that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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