You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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