yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
