why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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