Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize