i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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