I think I am morally bankrupt
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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