so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You ruined the universe
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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