Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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