people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Randomize