I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize