His pubic hair was longer than his dick
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Can vaginas get frostbite?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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