Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
