Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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