I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
