My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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