I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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