I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
