If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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