They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
