I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
