haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
