apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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