There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
