i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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